EquineArtifex

Why do you look so confused How can you be so heartbroken When I never saw it coming I didn't even get a chance I wish I was A big girl now Looking to my early years The best of my life But I feel so lost No I'm not ready To let go Give a little love to me I'll burn it out Give me time and be The one I need Give me the words I wish would come easily I can't promise No I can't even sleep I wish you'd Just smile at me The summer I never had Spent dreaming of Beaches and sandstone Carved with ease But I spent my time With walls between all the parts of me I'll never get over That one time I heard The first shred of impatience Give a

I am in love In love with the idea of a great life A memory I never had I'm in love with these things I want The things I need In love with the words and speeches The art swimming in my soul I love all these people Who care little for me at all I am in love with all these things However I am not in love with love itself There's one thing I am in love with most This one thing I am blind I am in love with the idea Of you and me Only there's one thing that binds my love That one thing is me

It's not that you can't admit you love him Its just you don't want to admit that it could hurt You have a decision to make Do you listen to you heart That screams for a risky love Running towards a passion for a life you wish you lived Watching others walk by you As you wait in slow motion for something to push Or your head That keeps you in boxes Lined with photos of lost opportunities you were to scared to take Stained with tears from past people lost I have a decision to make And that in itself Makes my heart leap to my head And my head fall to the depths of my ribs Until I can feel the beat in my soul Telling me You only get one

Jane: We Lost everything On that corner down by the swings I remember seeing you smile So bright Made the sunlight jealous Oh yes I remember Everything I wrote you a sad song See I used to be Something I can't believe You're upside down Swinging oh so happy Singing oh so beautifully There's a spark in your eyes Can you see my heart sway back and forth with you   Yea this life's pretty good really I wish I could show you Beyond your chains and metal bars They are so sincere The summer came and went I wanted more but you never left I waited by the swing set Sometimes you'd be there Other times I'd just wait Gates were always o

I woke up Late last night There's not much I can do I can't sleep no more I can't stop it coming to me Late at night I remember your eyes Looking at me Like a small boy I fear he doesn't Doesn't trust me at all Don't you know You are Can't you see You are You are the only one You will always be The exception to my rule Ohh please tell me I can see it in your eyes Don't hide from me I so wanna tell you Staring at my bedroom floor Watching tears spill to the door I only wanna tell you one thing Don't you know You are Can't you see You are You are the only one You will always be The exception to my rule I saw myself In my own shoes Lo

I can't explain a dam thing Why should I justify everything I do Everything I am Is this me Or do my tattoos fade Simply because they've given up the fight I know I said things Did things I didn't mean them I'm getting sick of looking I scream, hit and run Next time I'll be better I've done it again Same pattern Creeps up my face Maybe I'm not as crazy as I seem Come back Don't walk away Look at me Don't you see This isn't me I burn to ashes Never say a word I can't tell you where it hurts Only that I am in so much pain I'm about to drown Where's the water Am I dying I can't tell Who are you Why am I so guilty I fight hard

I sit and stare at your jacket hanging over the chair Hoping your warmth would come and fill the empty fabric Like staring at a photo would help to not forget their face Staring at clothing would help us not to forget their presence Photos are still They never touched them Felt the warmth of their body Heard every heart beat and breath Kept them warm Touch what they touch Hear what they hear Smell like they smell Be there for every heart break and triumph Every thread felt their being

You say things I cannot reply I have no idea How to see things through your eyes I pray For this heart to be unbroken My world doesn't know how to sleep It confuses me everyday That I managed to be un moving for so long And all you had to do was smile And I walk a thousand miles to see it again

I try To live everyday like I don't love you I try To say every word like I don't think of you I try To walk like I don't wish I had you next to me I try To look like I don't remember your face I try To smile without thinking of yours I try To organize like I don't miss you I try To be happy without wishing you'd be happy with me I try To be complete on my own I try To pretend like I don't need you   I try To listen like I want to listen I try To try all these things But my trying fails me It's the only thing I'm happy to fail at